Goodreads Book Review - Briar Rose

Briar Rose by Jane Yolen

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Jane Yolen has been a favorite since childhood. She writes well and beautifully. She tackles concepts in a way that teens and young adults can understand. This book is a beautiful weaving of fairy tale and history that gives life to the true purpose of fairy tales while telling a compelling story about the Holocaust. A must read!



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Goodreads Book Review - The Men with the Pink Triangle

The Men with the Pink Triangle: The True Life-and-Death Story of Homosexuals in the Nazi Death Camps by Heinz Heger

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


I love this book. I like personal accounts of major events both tragic and triumphant. I would have liked to have had it been longer considering how few of these particular accounts exist involving the Holocaust. A must read regardless of the writing quality. Good or bad. As I don't think many know about what homosexuals went through during this or the true origin of the pink triangle. It is an easy read and a quick book to make your way through. Very to the point.



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Old surveys, I love the embarassment they provide!

The Basics
Hair Color: A stylist once called it "Sand-spun," I'll stick with that.

Eye Color: Changes, more blue/gray/green, but sometimes brownish.

Height: 6' or somewhere in that area.

Profession: In the FUTURE I want to be an Environmental Horticulturist.

Relationship Status: Single...but I am ok with that. It's me time.

Religious Views: Open.

My Favorites
Favorite Color: Varies, depends on what for. Green then closely blue in general.

Favorite Car: One that works.

Favorite Movie: I have lots, I really like ones that can surprise or shock me.

Favorite Hobby: Gardening.

Favorite Song/Singer: Again, depends, I like everything at LEAST a little

Favorite Book/Author: Christopher Rice, only author I ever pre-ordered a book for.

Favorite School Subject: I hated school. College is ok though.

Favorite Vacation Destination: New Orleans, or Seattle.

Favorite Food: Anything I don't have to make and it's better if I don't have to buy it too. LOL

Favorite Restaurant: Red Stag Supperclub

Favorite Animal: Wolf

Favorite Store: Burlington Coat Factory. GREAT deals!

Favorite Celebrity : Angelina Jolie or Milla Jovavich.

Favorite Childhood Friend: My childhood is sketchy at best...

Favorite Childhood Memory: ...trauma makes it hard to remember that far back by willing it.

Favorite Baby Name: Connor Dannion, Drew Antonio, Faye Louise...I have a vault of my future babies' names...LOL...

Favorite Person In Your Life: I have no favs, but I cherish my Gemma

Favorite Facebook Application : (Lil) Green Patch....and the flower ones.

This or That
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla is more versatile...I like that about him... LOL

Big Mac or Whopper: Hmmm... Can I have a Big Whopper?

Coke or Pepsi : Coke.

Beer or Wine: Beer.

Coffee or Tea: Tea. Coffee if I go out for it.

Apple Juice or O.J.: OJ

Facebook or MySpace: Facebook.

Summer or Winter: Both, but I would prefer mild, coastal versions from mid-US.

Windows or Mac: Windows.

Cats or Dogs: Dogs.

Boxers or Briefs: Boxers.

Rain or Shine : Rainshine is the BEST!

Chips or Popcorn: Chips.

Salty or Sweet: Salty, but sometimes you have to have sweet...

Plane or Boat: I want to go on a cruise before I answer this, but planes are a bit cramped so I think I know where my vote is going...

Morning or Night: Night...mornings are evil!

Movie or Play: Oh, tough one... Depends.

Walk or Drive: How far am I going?

Money or Love: Always Love before money.

Breakfast or Dinner: Dinner...I hate mornings, remember?

Forgiveness or Revenge: Forgiveness always, but revenge for those I love if you hurt them.

Paint or Wallpaper: Paint

House or Apartment: House

Do You?
Have Any Pets: 2 lizards. Eonar and Ysera

Have Any Children: Want to someday.

Smoke: When I drink.

Drink: On occasion, less and less lately.

Exercise: I used too...less and less lately...

Spend Your Life On Facebook: If I have a internet connection I can "borrow."

Play On A Sports Team: Once, when I was younger, township baseball.

Belong To Any Organizations: Probably... LOL... OutFront MN seems to have me do a lot of work for them sometimes.

Love Your Job: Don't have a set one right now and I am moving so...

Like To Cook: Love to.

Play An Instrument: I can toot my own horn pretty well, other than that... Keep your damned minds out of the gutter.

Sing: In the shower or car or drunk at JJs.

Dance: I like to go out and do that, although, how well I do, IDK...

Speak Multiple Languages: A li'l Spanish.

Ice Skate: No

Swim: Yes

Paint: Not well.

Write: Well, but not often.

Ski: No

Juggle: No

Have You Ever
Stolen Anything: Yes

Been Drunk Before Noon: Yes

Had Sex In A Public Place: Yes

Got Caught Telling A Lie: Yes

Got A Speeding Ticket: Yes

Been Arrested: Almost

Littered: Yes

Fantasized About A Co-Worker: Yes

Cheated On A Test: Yes

Cheated In A Relationship: Never!

Failed A Class: Yes

Screened Your Phone Calls: Yes

Eaten Food Off The Floor: Yes

Stuck Gum Under A Desk: Yes

Wished You Were Someone Else: Yes

Cried During A Movie: Yes

Had A One Night Stand: Yes...man...I was a bad boy...

Other
Describe Yourself In One Word: Quixotic

Biggest Fear: Never having a family of my own.

Biggest Mistake: IDK...mistakes are learning experiences...so I don't really call them "mistakes" but if I had to choose one it would be stealing my mom's van and totaling it...LOL...

Your Proudest Accomplishment: 1999 Governor's Award: Acts of Kindness, my newspaper article, oh, and surviving a brain tumor...LOL...

#1 Priority In Your Life: Myself right now, but generally those I love is number one, right now they are a close second.

Dream Job: Running a botanical garden on the coast.

Causes You Believe In: Anything that furthers the human spirit and works towards the greater good. All should be seen and treated as equals in mind, body, and soul.

Special Talents: You'd have to be dating me to find out...LOL... Oh, I am good with words, although, I tend to occasionally make new ones up...

Where Are You Right Now: Sam and my place...

Where Would You Rather Be: With my family. Or in the future where things can be good again between Sammy and I.

Famous Person You Want To Meet: If I could have my pick? Even though he wouldn't look like Colin Farrell I would have to say Alexander the Great if I could go back in time. I want the real friggin' story.

Place To Visit Before You Die: The moon? I would be happy if I could make it out of the States before I croak.

Song Played At Your Funeral: I have a list of them actually. It sounds morbid, but I have a "death book" so I can work out my thoughts before I get a will and a living will done. After all I have been through, it is a good idea to have them.

Cannon Fodder: A Nightmare or Two

The bus is moving, but the bird is frozen in flight. Snow piles high and deep, quick and quiet now, as does the silence. No squeal of tires, no sound of my breath. Numb and noiseless. I go back in time and pull things forward at great cost. So many questions over an impossible feat. Sacrifice my left leg below the knee and left pinkie. Three years of my life also given to a bed, in a coma, in a sterile ICU. No breathing on my own. I wake to stubborn lover in thought and crush, I don't know them, but the intent is good. Shift and phase. Pleading, prying, trying to convince the unbelievers. My motives are shadowed by great doubt and in turn I begin to doubt them to. Homosexuals are not pedophiles. The act of violating a child makes me sick, I wretch. Accusations fly where birds do not and I fall from grace like the snow. Thick, the silence itself is thick. If I turn around Death will have me for that which I have stolen from Him. Wet, fetid, slimy breath, if breath can indeed be slimy, beats and rolls around the back of my neck, over my shoulders, down my chest. 5 seconds. Soft ticks sound off like dynamite blasts. Epic Fail. Cough. Awake.

Nightmares

Jay
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Jay What little bit of sleep I got last night was filled with nightmares. Blinding snow, accidents I couldn't prevent, massive sacrifices of self. Now I am left tired, sore, and sick. Blah!
4 hours ago · Comment · LikeUnlike

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Kristen snow?
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Jay Yeah, in the summer. There is no sound and this blinding snow starts coming and everything turns gray and nothing moves except for me. It's like the world ends. Snow/winter can be a metaphor for death and also for atomic war. I guess that last one is kinda death related itself, eh? No sleep, don't judge!
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Catherine Hmm sounds the perfect description of the tower card...
3 hours ago · LikeUnlike ·
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Tammy Probably had something to do with how much we talked about last night. I think we did talk about some of those things. Probably made you have nightmares.
2 hours ago · LikeUnlike ·
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Jay
Tammy: I actually have nightmares a lot, and ironically enough from what Cat said, sometime seemingly prophetic. How are you today BTW? I never heard back from Stef or Jefferson.
Cat: Weird, I forget the tower, what does that mean again?... It is one of the Major Arcana is it not?See More
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Jay
Cat: Ha! I get it. It took me a second but I was describing a Tower situation. Ugh... I feel quite crappy. Sorry luv. It doesn't feel like tower stuff. Moving through time at the cost of leg and finger. Time freezing birds mid-flig...ht when the snow and silence falls thick and blinding. Doubt cast upon you and your intentions so strongly that you in turn doubt them too. The whole time alone and 5 seconds from Death, the stench of his fetid breath beating at your neck. They played out as whole stories too but I only see slide show flashes which is so weird for me. They were almost like fever dreams.See More
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Older Posts

Writing

Ok, so trying to get back on this train of dreams and take writing up hasn't eactly been too easy. I write well and all, but I have a lot to learn. I have this great story idea that I have been working on, but when I put it to paper it comes across as a bunch of pretty words and images, but not a real story, at least that is how I see it. I think a good way to put it as it is this stunning and attention grabbing skeleton, but a skeleton alone, without muscles and other soft tissues, doesn't move. Catch where I am going with this? So I have to do research. Now I need maps and pictures and nonfiction books...ugh. I just hope that what I am learning as I figure all of this out is me being on the right path!

Goodreads Book Review - Blind Fall

Blind Fall by Christopher Rice




I love this book, it really is good. It isn't so much a mystery of who did what, but about relationships between people and forgiveness and acceptance. As I say with all his books, he is an amazing writer in my opinion, read it at least once!



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Ground Zero Follow Up

Ha! Watch this, I was right! The place is to be a community center and NOT a mosque! I will admit to being somewhat happy at being right, but ultimately I am happy that someone stopped reacting to a pixel of a picture, but took the time to figure out what was going on and then broadcast it! However, I am not sure if my disappointment in people and their failure to see the whole picture for what it is worth outweighs this momentary joy. I still don't understand why this even became an issue. This is why hate crimes occur people, we are uneducated and intolerant as a nation.

Original post.

Tears

I don't know why, but sometimes I have glimmers of emotion and I have no idea if it is something that I am feeling right now or I didn't deal with an hour ago, a day ago, week, month, year, YEARS maybe??? So what the Hell does it all mean then and what the Hell are these feelings that tear me apart? I feel lonely one moment and tears build up only to feel anger. Am I abnormal for talking about my past or things that happened? Are they no longer relevant now that they are over with? Why does my ex telling me that he doesn't talk about me to anyone bother me so much? Maybe I feel unimportant. I would rather have him trash talk about me than not talking about me at all. Is that normal? Why do I feel so much undirected hate and anger? Maybe the fall of Hephaestus from the Heavens was the same event that Christians call the fall of Lucifer. Maybe the world will end in 2012. Maybe I will find direction in my life and I will no longer feel hopeless and useless. Maybe my heart and mind will get back on track. Maybe science will prove the existence of the human soul. Maybe ducks go to Heaven too. Maybe there is a Heaven. WTF does it really matter anyway? I don't feel human anymore. I used to LOVE life, and learning, and all those anti-drug, bullshit sentiments. Now I am too apathetic to even be bitter. In a perfect world I would be something, be someone, with a talent and gorgeous lover living somewhere beautiful and sunny like San Diego without the earthquakes and an oceanside view from my penthouse. Hell, in a perfect world my lover would probably be someone like Adam Lambert, Lance Bass, Jay Brannan, or...ok that's all I got right now, um...how about whichever of the hot gay guys appear on "So You Think You Can Dance"? Nothing is sexier than artistic talent. Crap, totally got distracted from my emotional banter by my Adam Lambert CD. Seriously, I listen to him and everything is better in the world. Piss, well, I was rather upset and I am sure that as soon as I step away from the A.L. I'll be back to being a Debbie Downer.

Birthday

My dream birthday would involve a professional costumer, a theatrical makeup artist, a nightclub, drag queens and Adam Lambert.

Goodreads Book Review - The Art of War

THE ART OF WAR by Sun Tzu

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


Not what I thought it would be. I really thought there would be some deeply reflective concepts, but maybe this has infiltrated pop culture more than I realized. A lot of it came across as common sense. It's referenced so much though that I am glad to have read it at least once.

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Ground Zero

People are so dumb! Don't they realize that a mosque at "Ground Zero" is the perfect message to send to other countries and terrorist groups that hate us? It would allow for prayer and worship for those close to people lost there and more importantly it would show that we are tolerant and do not judge all people of a certain faith and we do not assume that they are all the same! This country was founded by diverse people and those seeking religious freedom. Come on, chill out! From what I understand it isn't just a Muslim thing, but a prayer center for all. Is that correct? Not only that, but I think that since Sarah Palin "refudiates" this idea it should be endorsed by EVERYONE. That is personal opinion. I think she is one batty broad though. Anyway, say this to yourself out loud at tell me that it doesn't make a good statement: "Just because our country was attacked by terrorists that may have been Muslim does not mean that all Muslims are terrorists. Putting a place of faith, and prayer, and worship near a place where so many souls were wounded and many lives lost in one of this nation's greatest tragedies will be one more step towards the healing we still desperately need. With love, grace, tolerance, and understanding we will not be broken and as much as those that hurt the nation's body try they will not break its soul!" "Refudiate" that haters!

Dislike

The other night I realize that I misspoke to my family. The conversation was about people that we don't like. I said that there were a few people that I didn't like, but I realized afterward that I didn't dislike them so much as disliked some of their behaviors. This being said, I am about to go on record with a few of my thoughts on certain people's behavior and I WILL name names.

Andrew: I don't think you like me.

Dale: I dislike how much you drink. I dislike the attitude that you get when you drink. Alcohol is NO excuse to say mean and hurtful things. You're still responsibly for your thoughts and actions regardless. Don't get in my face and act like a know-it-all and don't try to get in the middle of everything. That is why I never took you serious enough to date.

Matt & Amanda: All the times that I was there for you... I dislike it when people say messed up shit behind other peoples backs, especially when it isn't true! You burned my rep with people that I didn't know, who were big enough people to wait and judge for themselves thankfully, and said things I would never do. Really Matt? You think I would try to sleep with you? Not cool. I want to say something mean, I really do, but I refuse to sink to the level of childish behavior. Amanda, I'm sorry but Chris would never spike someone's drink. He's not like that. You were irresponsible and got too lit and got sick. Your fault. I hate it people do not take responsibility for their OWN actions and they blame others.

Are our behaviors what make us who we are? I don't know, but if that is the case. I guess I dislike these people. But I have reasons why. I'm not going to say some of the things I want to in order to lash back, I won't do it, but I do want to.

A Christopher Rice Review (Not Mine)

There isn't a spoiler in this.

http://www.generationq.net/entertainment/the-moonlit-earth-shines-for-rice-120810.shtml

They do say that he has 3 novels when in fact he has 4 previous novels.

A Density of Souls
The Snow Garden
Light Before Day
Blind Fall
The Moonlit Earth

Doctors

I respect doctors. I really do, but ever since my incident in March I have been shy about going to them. I went after that, but only in an emergency situation when I got bit by a venomous insect in San Diego. However, with the pain in my butt and lower back I finally broke down. I switched my PCP from a metro location to a more rural one and scheduled an appointment for Monday. I don't know if there is much that can be done, if it is something like my tailbone, but my friends and family have convinced me that there could be something wrong elsewhere. They win, I lose, so I'll have to choke down the fear I have and just go for it. If not I am sure they will string me up from my whining without doing anything about it.

Goodreads Book Review - Phaedrus

Phaedrus by Plato

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


I've read this several times before. I had to read it in college for a classic rhetoric course. I fell in love with the text. It is in my opinion, the most playful Plato has ever been and also contains some of the most beautiful rhetoric I have ever read to date.

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Goodreads Book Review - The Snow Garden

The Snow Garden by Christopher Rice

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


This was my second time reading it (see "A Density of Souls" review). This is not as monumental as his first, but a great read still. I would say that I was a little disappointed that it lacked the depth of his first, but books cannot be systematically wonderful. The discoveries that you make along the way though are awesome, but if I was to suggest one of his works to get someone into his writing it would definitely be "A Density of Souls." I think what let me down was the ending, it didn't have the shock factor of his first. Definitely a book you should read at least once though.

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Goodreads Book Review - A Density of Souls

A Density of Souls by Christopher Rice

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


I've read this book twice now, which is something I rarely do. It is a must read and still my favorite work of his. Although I have yet to read his newest that I picked up earlier this year at a book signing in San Diego. I'm actually reading through his previous works to savor his new release. 1st read: Dec 2000

I feel that I should really add more to this. This book has a main character who is gay, but in no means does it come of preachy in concern with that. This book is about the struggles between people that their differences cause. It also hits on the underlying lies of a social group and how conforming comes with a price. It is beautifully done and if I remember correctly he wrote it at 22. I was a teenager when it came out and it stirred the creativity in me in a way that I didn't feel until years later when I met Christopher Rice himself at a book signing. I remembered my love of writing. After reading this a second time I started working on a book which is something I have always wanted to do, but didn't because of the fear of rejection. Between his words, written and spoken, I have decided to write for myself. I just find his work, especially this first book, to be inspiring.

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I Broke My Butt

Last weekend 2/3 of my siblings, some of our friends, and I went to the beach for a BBQ. We were playing volleyball at one point in a sandpit. I jumped for the ball and thinking I was on soft, impact absorbing sand I went for it all out. I landed on my butt and lower back. I got the wind knocked out of me and saw stars. Now tell me. Whether it really was concrete or impacted sand, I don't care, who puts a hard surface under a volleyball pit? Does that not defeat the damned purpose? I am in SO much pain even today. I have been stealing muscle relaxants and painkillers from everyone I know just to make it through the day and catch as much sleep as I possibly can; which by the way isn't very much at all! Now, why haven't I gone to the doctor you might wonder? Well, I never got my insurance changed to the facility near me, I am still set to the metro. I don't have a car or the monetary means to drive down there now either. I went in and got a phone number today though from a friend at the hospital so that I can go in ASAP. I am sick of the pain in my pelvic bone and the spasms in my back. Not cool! Hopefully I can get this straightened out as soon as possible. Until then, will somebody rub my butt?