Justin Aaberg

This is this first time that I am getting the chance to make a real post in what seems like forever. This post though will go well beyond my usual personal, self-involved universe. I am going to be really, really serious and talk about something that makes me feel torn and twisted and you should too.

Things have happened so quickly that I have no real way of describing to you an accurate time line. Either way, I happened upon an article from The Minnesota Independent. As much as I can find a silver lining in some of the worst tragedies, this time I couldn't for the life of me. See, if you haven't clicked the link yet what you don't know is that this incredibly beautiful boy, only 15 years old, killed himself this last July. When you see how radiant his smile is and how bright his eyes are in the pictures, you will know that only an immense pain and burden carried on his young shoulders could bring him down. A pain that many of us in the LGBTQ community know all too well, a pain that many school systems and social structures leave us to suffer through alone when we are at our most vulnerable. Why? Ignorance, I really don't know for sure, I don't know how to make sense of it myself. Anyway, Justin was a high school student at Anoka High School, a school that says they protect the students, but I have to wonder if their removing LGBT people from history to stay "neutral" was the best idea. To me, erasing a class of people tells LGBTQ kids that they don't matter, tells other kids that it is ok to harass and torture those LGBTQ kids. Now for you who do not know what that means, LGBTQ is Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender and Questioning. Also, they claim to have a "neutral" sexual orientation policy but if that were truly the case they wouldn't talk about heterosexuals either. I wonder what they talk about in sex ed or what the Mrs. at the beginning of a teacher's name means? Are they so lost in their own heterosexual view point that they don't realize that we are surrounded by signs of opposite sex sexuality? I just don't get it. You can't teach a kid to be gay, I mean my parents are straight, Justin parents are straight, come to think of it, not a single one of my LGBTQ friends have parents that aren't.

This narrow viewpoint is ultimately what killed Justin, not his own hand. It almost killed me at 16. I could name many others that were almost killed by the anti-LGBTQ bullying and the marginalization they experienced. The point is, my throat tightens now even as I try to type this, but in my soul I know Justin would be here today if kids were protected. Not that people aren't trying. legislation has been introduced, but it doesn't get the attention that it deserves.

Well, after I read the initial article I contacted Tammy Aaberg to give my support and offer any aid she may need of me. See, to me, when a member of the LGBTQ community falls, I have lost a brother or sister. I mean, as a Christian I think that we should be that way towards each other all the time, maybe I am crazy for being so open and compassionate. So Tammy calls me after we exchanged many emails, WCCO was coming and she wasn't sure of what would happen so of course I agreed to come and be her support. I want to take a second and tell you that if you haven't seen the report, you should, however we don't like the odd emphasis they put on the end of a relationship that Justin had for a very short time. I was there while they were asking her questions and I feel as if it was taken out of context somehow. All in all though, the more people that find out about Justin being the 3rd confirmed LGBTQ or perceived LGBTQ student to commit suicide in a year at Anoka Hennepin District 11 the better. That's one district people. In fact, I follow GLSEN, the NOH8 campaign, the HRC, the We Give A Damn Campaign, the Trevor Project and many others on twitter and just the day before yesterday I was bombed by tweets from so many of them about a young boy in IN named Billy Lucas. He was also bullied and he also hung himself. So all those who don't think these kids should be protected, who vote against legislation like Senator Franken et. al.'s Student Nondiscrimination Act of 2010, who kick their child out of their home for being gay, and who I forget to mention but oppose anything even slightly LGBTQ related I ask: Are you happy now?

So now, I have become rather close to the Aabergs, in fact I am Tammy's assistant. She might be the most vocal and the one most people know, but I want to say something about this family, this family that has come under attack in comments and blogs. You say Justin is gone because they didn't love him enough to "make him straight." If you think that it is Justin's fault YOUR kid bullied him because of your narrow-minded upbringing, you are so ignorant. I have been staying with them during this time and I will tell you that there are very few people who I have known to be as accepting and loving as this one. Shawn, Tammy's husband, is a soft spoken and kind man who has promised to teach me how to play cards. Her oldest, Andrew, and I have found so much in common and he has never once acted like my sexuality being different than his mattered. At 18, if I had a friend like that, maybe I wouldn't have made some of the horrible choices I had. Their youngest son, whose name I choose to not share, is bright and funny and sensitive. Tammy and I of course became fast friends. This family is all about love AND acceptance. These are real people that you are judging. Justin was so lucky to have them, but because of those who treated him like dirt, like the boys who physically assaulted him in school and grabbed his crotch saying something like, "You like this, don't you?", because nobody followed through on punishments or told his family this was happening, because he went to school in a world that acted like he shouldn't exist, no love, not even theirs was enough. Everywhere he turned outside of his home turned its back on him and Lord knows he couldn't hide in his parent's basement for his entire life. Now, some people may be saying to themselves that there is no way I could know what he was thinking. You're right. I have a really good guess at it though because I've been there. I bet a good portion of you identify with that too.

Write to your politicians, call them about the Student Nondiscrimination Act of 2010 and try to stop this from happening again, please! Meanwhile, we will keep up our fight to stop bullying and eventually put LGBT people back in history.

For more links about Justin go to my blog entry titled "My Rolling Facebook Statuses, Please Use!" or Google Justin Aaberg.